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officialunitedstates:

my favorite part of any trip to mcdonalds is the sudden and unavoidable flashbacks to the time when I got stuck in the slide for 5.5 hours and the staff had to slide down mcnuggets so I could keep up my energy while they cut the slide in half with a hacksaw.  half-slide is still there, haunting me and the other kids who sudden fall through a hole halfway through their journey down

posted 41 seconds ago with 14,928 notes , via , source - reblog

jimfaindel:

werewolfchaos:

pagingme:

tastefullyoffensive:

[blaine gibson]

GASTON

Nobody get’s confused like Gaston

I cry for all those who do not know who this man is

posted 1 minute ago with 108,494 notes , via , source - reblog

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

posted 2 minutes ago with 150,035 notes , via , source - reblog

rigginsrigs:

does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way

posted 2 minutes ago with 660,886 notes , via , source - reblog

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

lightning is just the flash on god’s camera when he’s taking selfies

posted 4 minutes ago with 131,843 notes , via , source - reblog

Saturdays are for adventure; Sundays are for cuddling —General life philosophy (via hefuckin)

posted 5 minutes ago with 154,336 notes , via , source - reblog

Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns

ellendegeneres:

Emily Blunt tells us just how cute her new baby is.

posted 7 minutes ago with 14,147 notes , via , source - reblog

it’s impossible.

posted 14 minutes ago with 2,399 notes , via , source - reblog

staff:

supersmashthestatebros:

image

hmmmm yeah, tumblr would celebrate Aviation Day, marking barely over a century of human flight when birds had been flying for millions of years before the Wright brothers. never forget.

Tumblr hereby recognizes the accomplishments of birds. 

posted 15 minutes ago with 26,817 notes , via , source - reblog
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